NCL Enneagram · Know Yourself, Know Each Other
NCL · Enneagram

Know Yourself, Know Each Other

A mother–daughter journey through the 9 types
Welcome

There are 9 ways of seeing the world.

The Enneagram isn't a box that labels you — it's a mirror that helps you understand why you do what you do, and why the people you love are different. No type is better than another. We each just have a different "filter."

1
Take the quick quiz20 questions, about 4 minutes. Answer with your gut.
2
Meet your typeLearn how you shine, how you get stressed, and what people misunderstand.
3
Talk it outOne breakout with a friend, one with your mom or daughter.

Tip: There are no right answers. Pick what's true most of the time, not who you wish you were.

Question 1 of 15
Your Enneagram type
1
The Reformer

Who you are

💗 What's underneath

Deep down you want:
Deep down you fear:
What you need to hear:

🌧️ Where you get stuck

💭 What people misunderstand

With friends:
With your mom / daughter:

🤝 How to connect better

With a friend:
With your mom / daughter:
Moms, try this:

Not quite you? You know yourself best — tap another number to explore it.

Breakout 1

With a Friend

⏱ about 10 minutes

Pair up with a friend. Take turns — you won't get to all of these, so pick the ones you care about most.

1 · WHAT'S TRUE

Share your type. Given everything you read about it, what feels most true for you? Is there anything that doesn't quite fit how you see yourself?

2 · YOUR OTHER SIDE

What other number do you also see in yourself? How does it show up? (You know yourself best — the quiz is just a starting point.)

3 · STRESS

Finish this sentence for your friend: “When I'm stressed, I tend to ______. When you see me do that, what actually helps me is ______.”

4 · APPRECIATE

Finish: “Something I appreciate about how YOUR type shows up in our friendship is ______.”

😄 Lighter ones
If you've got time — pick any that sound fun.
SNACK · EMOJI · SONG

If your type were a snack, an emoji, and a song — what would they be?

SO ME

What's the most “so me” thing you've done this week?

DREAM TEAM

Which type would be your dream travel buddy? Which would be total chaos with you?

PLOT TWIST

Whose type in our friend group surprised you the most?

Breakout 2

Mom & Daughter

⏱ about 15 minutes

Sit with your mom or daughter. This one goes a little deeper. Take turns — pick the ones you care about most; you may not get to them all.

1 · OPEN UP

Share your types with each other. Then take turns: “Is there anything you learned about yourself today — or in your friend breakout — that you want me to know about you?”

2 · WHAT I NEED

Take turns, and be honest: “Considering everything we've learned today, what do you need more of — or less of — from me?” (Your “what you need to hear” line is a good place to start.)

3 · ONE CHANGE

Read each other the “How to connect better” tip for your type. Pick one thing you'll each try this month.

4 · SEE EACH OTHER

Each finish two sentences: “One thing I understand about you a little better now is ______.” and “One thing I appreciate about you is ______.”

5 · BONUS

Where do your two types naturally bump heads? Where do they fit together beautifully? (Different isn't wrong — it's often exactly what the other one needs.)

😄 Lighter ones
If you've got time — pick any that sound fun.
GOOD GUESS?

Before today, what type would you have guessed each other were? How close was it?

SO YOU

What's the most “so you” thing the other one does? (Loving roast — keep it kind!)

FAMILY TYPES

Which family member is SO obviously which type? Debate it.

MOM AT 16

Mom: what type do you think you were as a teenager — same as now, or different?

One last thing

Be kind to your type — and to hers.

Your personality formed when you were little, to help you feel safe and loved. It's a gift and the place you get stuck. Every type has both. When you understand that, you can give yourself grace — and give the people you love grace too.

Take a screenshot of your type so you remember it. This month, notice your type showing up — and try that one thing you and your mom or daughter picked.

For the presenter

Run of Show & QR Code

Have the girls scan this to begin

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This QR points to this exact page. Project it on a screen. If the code doesn't appear, the URL above works too.

60-minute plan

0–10
Welcome + Enneagram 101. 9 lenses, not boxes. No type is better. You're introducing a tool for grace.
10–13
Scan & take the quiz. Answer with your gut, most of the time.
13–20
Read your type. Whole card — stress, misunderstandings, connection.
20–30
Friend breakout (4 prompts).
30–47
Mom & daughter breakout (5 prompts). The heart of the hour.
47–57
Popcorn share. A few pairs share one “a-ha.”
57–60
Close. Be kind to your type and hers. Pick one thing to try.

Talking points for 101

Nine types = nine core motivations for how we see the world. We each lead with one. It's not about behavior (what you do) but why — the thing you're chasing or protecting underneath. Knowing it helps us stop taking each other's wiring personally. A mom and daughter with different types aren't doing it wrong — they're speaking different first languages.

4
The Individualist
✨ Who you are
💗 Deep down you want
💗 Deep down you fear
💛 What you need to hear
🌧️ Where you get stuck
💭 Misunderstood — friends
💭 Misunderstood — mom / daughter
🤝 Connect better
Facilitated by Lyndee Berkley · Encyte Solutions · encytesolutions.com
Enneagram type content adapted from NCL / Creative Types Coaching, with relationship reflections added for this workshop.
Presenter view